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I read about a really great way to handle getting rejected and I wanted to share it. It basically says to rethink what rejection actually is. Here is the gist of it.

Imagine you offer someone a free lobster dinner right now. What are the reasons why someone would say no to that? They could be vegetarian. They could be allergic. Maybe they just ate dinner. Maybe they ate lobster yesterday. Maybe they are watching their diet. Maybe they are going to the gym or going swimming. Maybe they want to eat something lighter. Maybe they want steak. Maybe they simply don’t like lobster.

The most important part of the scenario is this: Just because that person doesn’t like lobster, does not mean that others don’t like lobster. There are many people who like lobster. Having one, 100 or 1000 people who don’t like lobster doesn’t change the fact that others do like it.

If I were to apply the lobster dinner to myself, I would say: That girl doesn’t like me, but it’s okay because it doesn’t mean others won’t like me. She just doesn’t like me. She may not be attracted to my type of face. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Maybe she just got out of a relationship. Maybe she likes blondes. Or older guys, or younger guys, or taller guys, or blue eyed guys. It doesn’t make a difference because you can’t change it. You can not, nor should you, change how someone feels.

When he was rejected, a friend once said, “Thank you for taking care of yourself.” This is now something I now try to remember. When someone doesn’t want to spend time with me and let’s me know, it is because they respect themself. I thank them for respecting themself, me, and my time. A rejection here does not waste my time in the future.

It is important to remember things like this because dating can get depressing very fast. It feels personal. In a way it is, but in other ways, it isn’t personal at all.

A way I came up with was to compare it to a batter during a baseball game. A home run hitter may have a tendency to strike out often. This is because they chase pitches. They take shots. They try often and strike out often. But they get the home run every once in a while which makes it all worth it. Had they not taken the chance, they wouldn’t have gotten the home run.

They don’t remember the strike outs. They don’t even think of strike outs as rejections. They may think of a strikeout as an at bat that didn’t work out. They learn from the at bat and use the knowledge for next time.